Sandarne, Sweden, July 17th, 2022
A week ago, my wife Lotta and I swam 1000 meters in open water for the 30th consecutive day. From time to time, we set a goal around an activity that we can focus on for a period, as a joint project. The first time was in 2016 when we did 50 simple everyday adventures for a year. As we enjoyed the experience so much, we extended the project with another 50 everyday adventures in 2017. Two years ago, we swam in 30 different places in June. Now, we set a goal to swim at least 1000 meters every day in open water, in places that suited us at the time.
A common goal has the potential to create a sense of community, positive energy, and purpose. To make the goal work well and become sustainable in the long term, I am convinced that it requires several prerequisites.
First, it is essential that the goal is in line with the values of everyone concerned. When we set a (common) goal, it is a signal that certain behaviors are extra important during a period. If we are going to prioritize something for a longer time, it needs to be in line with what is important to us in a broader perspective, which makes it worth prioritizing in relation to other things in our lives.
Second, the goal needs to be designed in such a way that it aligns with our disposition, that we have the opportunity to feel that the experience itself provides added value, and that the activity, at least from time to time, feels rewarding regardless of our goals or values.
Valued direction is a concept we use in Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT), which roughly means choosing to move towards what is important in life for us. A compass course is a good analogy for valued direction. We can orient ourselves according to the compass course and move in an approximate direction, but constantly adapt to the obstacles that arise along the way. As long as we are moving within a limited range of our compass direction, we are somewhat on the right track. Similarly, it is with valued direction. We need to stop and orient ourselves from time to time, but at the same time, focus on continuing to move forward even though it is not exactly the right direction, more or less right is good enough.
Experiencing things together with people who are important to me, spending time in nature, being physically active daily, keeping my promises to myself or others, and occasionally finding small or big challenges are some of my valued directions. Over the years, I have learned that these are things that make me feel so much better, appreciate life, and feel more purpose. Valued direction is not a goal; it is a striving, something that is not finished.
I have begun to see values as a separate motivational category from intrinsic and extrinsic motivation. When we talk about intrinsic motivation in the usual sense within psychology, we mean that the experience itself is rewarding. When I long to swim in the ocean because I enjoy the feeling of swimming and experiencing the impressions in the water, it is about intrinsic motivation. If instead, I am mainly motivated to achieve our challenge or to become a better swimmer, it is about extrinsic motivation. Intrinsic motivation could also be called experience-based motivation, while extrinsic motivation can be called goal-based motivation.
During our joint swimming project, I was motivated in various ways to complete it. Sometimes it was the longing for swimming and the experience itself, i.e., mainly inner motivation that drove me. Other times, like the day when we were short on time and needed to go down to the beach and swim at 6:00 a.m. on a cloudy and windy morning, it was the goal of completing the project and the responsibility towards Lotta that drove me, which is external motivation and value-based motivation. After just a few minutes in the water, it felt good, the experience took over, and the reward of overcoming the initial resistance felt strong. The next day we had to go to the beach at 5:30 a.m. The positive experience from the day before was fresh in my memory, and then it was much easier, and I was driven more by inner motivation.
Many times there is a resistance built into taking the first step towards something demanding, it does not feel like we want or have the energy for it. Sometimes it was the goal that helped me, sometimes it was the reminder of my values such as daily physical activity, community, and keeping my word that helped me take a small step in the direction I really wanted. Different motivational factors helped me to put on my wetsuit and go out. The feeling of importance and actually wanting to act in a valued direction gave me energy and helped me prioritize and direct my energy.
Value-based motivation has similarities to goals in that goals are about elevating something and making it more important. When we are motivated by goals, it is called external motivation; it is something we do with a specific purpose in mind. We want to achieve a certain result, which is often something other than the activity itself.
Value-driven motivation is like its overarching category that is in the middle of external and inner motivation, which is about meaning. It is similar to goal-based external motivation in that there is a factor outside the experience that we focus on, but differs from goals in several ways. Goals can be set by anyone, whereas a valued direction comes from within. Goals often have an endpoint, whereas a valued direction is something we never finish. Goals are a tool we can use to specify what we need to do here and now to move in a valued direction. Goals are like small steps on the way, while the valued direction is the path.
Studies have shown that when we set goals in line with our values and work towards them, we feel more well-being and satisfaction with our lives. Researchers then talk about vertical coherence, where our values are something overarching that the goals are subordinated to. When values, goals, and behaviors are connected, we are more coherent in life, i.e., more integrated. We behave more in line with how we want to live and feel more meaning and coherence.
I think it is equally important in the long run to also get goals and experiences together in a coherent way. When the movement towards our goals, the external motivation, goes hand in hand with our values and our experience-based inner motivation, the behavior becomes both sustainable and meaningful in the long run.
Our swimming project was completely in line with my and Lotta's values. It gave us lots of great experiences together and some exciting experiences. We swam in many different places, sometimes in warm, calm water like when we paddled out to the island of Branthäll. There we lay on the sun-warmed rocks on the outside facing the open sea in the east. We swam around the entire island about 1.5 km in crystal clear water. Came back and warmed ourselves on the rocks again, ate food, drank coffee, relaxed in the sun before we paddled home after an hour or so. Several swims in icy water and strong winds in the outer archipelago were very challenging instead. Sometimes it was late evenings in a warm lake, sometimes early mornings in a gray and cold sea.
I am convinced that we can increase our sense of meaning if we find our personal values. Values that we intuitively feel for, but which can also demand a lot from us and which also contain something outside ourselves, that includes others.
If we then set goals and work persistently towards them, and the goals are in line with our values, they will feel more meaningful and are also likely to give us more contact with inner motivation, where the activity itself becomes rewarding.
A goal is something we strive to achieve, while a pursuit is ongoing and never finished. Living a meaningful life is a pursuit. Goals in line with our values can help us in that pursuit.
During our thirty days, we visited many different bathing places with varying weather conditions, sunshine and fog, strong winds and calm, from early morning to late evening. Usually just the two of us, but now and then with some friends. We swam in Stenö, Stålnäs, Lofssjön, Vallvik, Marmen, Stortjärn, Färsjön, Dammsjön, Runt Branthäll, Bergviken.
Sharing goals and values, experiences and everyday life gives life more meaning.
